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[ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
The SDP, in yet another ridiculous stunt, held a “peaceful” protest outside parliament house. Of course, they got arrested. I think one blog I read said “manhandled”. Well, of course they got manhandled. How else do arrests go? “Excuse me, sir, could you kindly come quietly into this vehicle, after which we shall transport you to an, possibly uncomfortable, interrogation? Pretty please?”
The raison d'être for this protest was the rising cost of living, and the SDP had brought a tin of Milo, cooking oil, etc etc et al, to prove their point. Yes, they actually brought props. I think they wanted to bring an effigy of LKY, but NTUC was sold out.
So, they went and did their thing, and the police came, and ten of them got carted away, including, I gather, the tin of Milo.
God only knows what possesses the SDP to do such things. I mean, wouldn’t it just scare people away from their party? Who the hell likes to make a scene? Does Dr. Chee have some sort of Gandhi complex? Does he dream of being MLK? A protest against the rising cost of living?
“I have a dream! Of cheap Milo! Let us topple the government so we can all have affordable chocolaty goodness! And be able to do sports, like, really well!”
PA KIU! PA KIU! PA KIU!
This kind of bread-and-circuses nonsense is why America threw up a GW Bush.
Now, I’m a big fan of habeas corpus, but, if given a choice between that and having to deal with miscreants marching about waving placards, I say necrophilia.
Subversive Elements: 6, Home Team: 3
280 words / 2282
And we tried so hard
And we looked so good
And we lived our lives in black.
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