[ BUY MY BOOKS! Witch-Girl Season One | The Bridge Across the Sky (Amazon) (Kobo) (Goodreads) ]
[ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
[ Stalk me on Facebook, Twitter, DeviantArt and Kiva. ]
[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
There was this long preamble where I did some soul searching but I decided you have your own problems, so I cut it out.
Instead of the preamble, I wrote you this –
On the grass of the field at the airport – deserted, this time of night – Ramiel lies upon his back, looking up at the stars. Upon his outstretched wing, Stacey lies next to him, her body against his; not warm, not cool, but there. She points up at the sky and she says this –
“It takes thousands of years for the light from a star to travel across the cold of space to come here, where it dies on the inside of your eyes.”
“If you blink, then the light from the star falls to the ground and it is gone. Like having feelings for someone who doesn’t have feelings for you.”
So here’s where I ask you for money. You don’t like it, I don’t like it, but, unfortunately, I have to be all grown-up now and that means caring about money.
Now, why should you be paying for Witch-Girl when you’ve already read it for free? You’re pre-paying for the next bits. Which I may not write. This has all the thrill of reading and gambling rolled together into one exciting package. I call it “rambling”.
Because the situation right now is that writing is a full-time job and I’m only getting paid in compliments. Right now I’m a slut and I’m looking to upgrade to whore. So you get to throw money at me and be my boss, except without the good bits of being a boss like ordering me around and sexual harassment.
You do get to state your preference for whatever it is you enjoy reading most.
I’ll probably need to think up better ways of monetization, but, for now –
How YOUR SUPPORT can keep me writing (and YOU reading)
♠ Comment, dammit.
You want to read Witch-Girl and so do I, so we’re all in this together.
506 words / 2351
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”
Download Free Casual Games :: PopCap Games :: Peggle | Insaniquarium | Plants vs Zombies (PC) | Plants vs Zombies (Mac)