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[ BUY MY BOOKS! Witch-Girl Season One | The Bridge Across the Sky (Amazon) (Kobo) (Goodreads) ][ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ] [ Stalk me on Facebook, Twitter, DeviantArt and Kiva. ] [ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath... 27 Aquarius 13 18:13 [ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this. 14 Aquarius 13 08:03 [ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment. 04 Aquarius 13 08:48 …more… |
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♠ 220504 – Episode IV: A New Hope Episode VIII: Heroes Desperate. Housewives Damages Prison. Break Grey’s Anatomy.And so it came to pass that Prince Nocturne, Paragon of Virtue and Tamer of Malware, and his Loyal Sidekick, the steadfast Strongarm Ironfist, upon their quest most noble and true, came to a stop. In the midst of the verdant forest they were in, the road before them, once wide and well-trafficked, had tapered to a tiny path. Imposingly huge trees stood on either side, preventing passage for the Noxobile. “Wah piang,” our hero exclaimed, “sian½.” They alighted the comfy confines of their vehicle, and Nocturne declared, “a bit smaller, but not too small,” whereupon the Noxobile shrank, and shrank some more, until it was small enough to pick up, which he did, and put in a pocket. It was, of course, a Mini Beatle. On foot, our heroes followed the overgrown path, eventually hearing the sounds of a heated discussion ahead. Moving forward, they saw the trees open up onto a beach. Upon the white sands stood a young man, standing astride a donkey, with a chicken beside him. In an uplifted palm he was holding a tin can, from which poked a tiny head and gossamer wings. It was, of course, the Fairies of the Soup Can Brotherhood. “Pluck eu!” shrilled the chicken, “God will punish eu” Still unnoticed amongst the trees, our heroes looked in to see whom the fairies were addressing. A pair of Dreamhunters were standing impassively. “Listen, citizen, we have lost a JI,” one declared, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?” He held up a poster. “Well, *we* have lost a saw,” said the fairy in the can. “Fairy in the can,” said the other Dreamhunter, leaning forward to take a closer look at her, “is your name Larry Craig?” The fairy quickly moved her arms up to cover her nudity, “No,” said the fairy, staring hard, “and that question stings.” “Look closely,” continued the first Dreamhunter, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?” The young man, the tiny fairy, even the donkey looked closely at the poster. The chicken did not, choosing, instead, to shrill “Pluck eu! God listens to me because I’m from City Harvest, and GOD WILL KILL EU!!!” At the mention of City Harvest, the terrorist organisation, the Dreamhunters immediately drew their weapons. “This is dumb,” declared Nocturne, moving away from the confusion as the chicken started to aggressively peck at the Dreamhunters’ legs. Moving along the beach, the tussle long behind them, they walked past the collapsed wreck of an airplane, then came across a figure moving ahead of them. “Eh, Boss,” said Strongarm, “JI lor.” “Bo lah, mana ah nei suay.” They walked toward the figure, who was walking with a limp. “See?” said Nocturne, “he can’t be the JI, who lets a terrorist with a limp escape? “You know what, the Soup Can Brotherhood lost their saw, the Dreamhunters lost their JI, and I’m looking for my Lost Love. And if the JI’s around here, well, everyone knows they lost their brains. “And you know what else, a JI without a brain, along with the Soup Can Brotherhood, who have no courage, hiding behind their holier than thou hypocrisy, and the Dreamhunters, who have no heart… “Either way, we’re in the wrong story. Let’s just go back the way we came.”
574 words / 2196
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Jesus said, “Whoever blasphemes against the Father will be forgiven, and whoever blasphemes against the Child will be forgiven. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either on earth or in heaven.” | ||||||||||||
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