The Truth of the Huat aka why people insist on believing what they believe and what you can do about it.
This wonderfully shiny new title is brought to you by the Acolyte of Maximum Huatness Sheena!
Greetings, friends! May the huat shower bacon upon you!
You want to know what is funnier than founding the cult of a joke religion?
As you can see, some people really like rules. If you say “The only rule is to be yourself and don’t hurt other people.” They’ll say something like “Yes, but what’s the rule about how much myself I’m supposed to be?”
Maybe it’s because it’s not very fun to be a part of a group unless the group has something in common and rules are one of those things people can have in common. But I think it’s because some people just really like rules.
(I wrote this and a few hours later I realised a character in the story I wrote for the Saga anthology is someone who really likes rules and this was a HUGE plot point, so I really don’t know why this still amuses me.)
It’s great to have a convert, because, while I just used to be a madman, I am now a madman with followers! Well, one follower. Or possibly more than one, I’m not sure who to count.
If YOU want to join Fervour Club, you can let me know. Or don’t. It’s entirely up to you! (Please let me know. I feel so alone.)
Together we can change the world! At a comfortable pace!
And let me take this moment to thank everyone who has been sharing/liking. Facebook buries posts which don’t get enough shares/likes, so ignoring a post is actually treated as an unlike.
Today we talk about passivism. Passivism is like activism, but a lot slower and without the name-calling. It doesn’t involve symbolic gestures (“Like this post and a child will live!”). It mostly involves talking to people who want to listen, and talking to them as if they were decent human beings and explaining your position in a non-combative, preferably humorous manner.
This said, passivism, like all things, isn’t good all of the time.
This “love the sinner, hate the sin” thing is bullshit. Fuck sinners. Don’t be friends with sinners. Ostracise them. One day they’ll realise they’re an ostrich and have no friends but other ostriches and maybe then they’ll pull their head out of the sand and wake up their idea. Don’t fall into the traps of the avian agenda!
You either accept someone doing something you wouldn’t do doesn’t mean they’re a sinner or you accept someone is a sinner and you can’t be friends. I’m not going to be friends with anyone who claims oppression is a right and it has to be protected. Fuck you and your bullshit. You don’t deserve friends. There is a part of you which is either evil or stupid and I don’t want you to get that stuff on me. It’s contagious.
If someone is a sinner, speak out against them. Do not tolerate hypocrisy or bullshit. Evil takes root where good men do nothing.
Fuck sinners. Don’t try to save them. Trying to “save” people is just plain arrogance. Tell them they are wrong and then tell them why and then, when they start to repeat themselves, walk away. They’re not listening anyway. Also, there’s a chance your view is actually, you know, wrong.
If someone does want to listen, then we should talk. This is my approach.
The Passivistic Approach, or PA, pronounced “pah” as in –
“You PA him?”
“Yah. He tio PA. PA until good good.”
Here is some practical advice on the Passivistic Approach.
Some Practical Advice on the Passivistic Approach
Do not say: “You are a [bigot/sinner] but I forgive you and want to talk.”
Telling someone you look down upon them is not the way to start a conversation.
Instead, say: “Do you want to build a snowman?”
Suggesting a common activity is a good way to spend time together and bond.
If they say “Yes.” Build a snowman.
If they say “Go away, Anna.” –
Do not say: “Well, fuck you, bitch.”
Name-calling never helps.
Instead, say: “It doesn’t have to be a snowman.”
Offering an alternative helps to leave the door open, and we all know love is an open door.
If they say “Yes.” Build something which isn’t a snowman. Maybe you can build a snowman at some later date. You’re friends now!
If they still say “Go away, Anna.” –
Do not say: “Well, fuck you, bitch! I don’t know what you have against ice people, but snowmen are people too and you’re a fucking racist for not accepting that.”
Seriously, name-calling never helps, even if it makes you feel better.
Instead, say: “Okay, byeeeeeEEEeeeeee.”
Try again next year.
More Practical Advice on the Passivistic Approach
Another way of pushing your agenda is to be subtle about it (subtle = passive).
For example, I have written many many posts now and you might think it’s about some social issue or other, and it is, but it’s also about getting more people to understand Frozen is a moral guide with a lot of important life lessons we all should really take to heart. St. Elsa is strong in the huat.
The thing is, people do not like having their minds changed. Go to an iPhone user and tell them their phone is shit. Present facts. Watch how they take it.
When presented with facts, people double down on their position. I could go on and on about this (maybe I will in another post). The point is: If you cannot change someone’s mind about which phone to use, the chance of you changing someone’s mind over something as fundamental to identity as personal morality are odds even Andy’s Dad won’t take. The First Rule of Fervour Club is you can’t change someone’s mind.
Like this FCBC girl who keeps repeating stupid arguments and doesn’t even realise her points are more appropriate against Sirpostle than against me or the people she claims not to hate.
You can’t change someone’s mind. They have to do it themselves.
And the way you help them change their mind is not to tear down their world view, but to very very slowly build up an alternative world view. World views are made up of facts, but it’s easy to forget worldviews are not made up only of facts. They are also made up of social norms, society at large and their circle of friends. World views are made up of reason and emotion and yes, a whole bunch of cognitive biases, all curled up together in what you consider to be “you”. It is not something which changes easily.
Here is another extremely passive way to change the world.
Yet More Practical Advice on the Passivistic Approach
We are the people we spend time with. Our morals are the morals of others.
Most likely you’re reading this because you already agree with something I wrote before. You are here because of the echo chamber principle; we seek out people who agree with us and avoid those who don’t.
So now you are here. But surely we don’t agree on everything. But since you already like me, your mind is open and you will read what I say without too much resistance. While you’re in this state, if I present a good argument, your mind will change a little bit.
This is also true of your friends and your colleagues and whatever. Too often we don’t want controversy and so we never state what we feel and what we believe in.
The concept of offense has taken over society. If someone says “I’m offended by that”, it’s like A Big Deal. It’s like a Big Deal and it shouldn’t be. It’s emotional blackmail, you know. It’s total bullshit. You can be offended by gays, you can be offended by religion, you can be offended by penguins. That’s not anyone’s problem. That’s your problem.
So here’s how to change the world (slowly).
Form an opinion – Gay marriage should be allowed.
Frame your opinion into a position – It is a twisted view indeed which requires someone being denied something in order that you may enjoy it.
You now have a shiny new position. This is important, guard it well. Do not doubt its power. It gives you strength. It is a source of your huat.
When relevant, and only when relevant, show people – Someone says “I hate gays.” You say “I don’t. Gay people should be allowed to marry.”
When they argue, say “Okay.” – Remember, when confronted with an opposing view, people double down. Stop the fight before the passions rise. Remember, they only sound like they can be convinced. You can’t convince people.
If this is a friend, mock them when the chance arises – Say things like “Haha. So-and-so will never go there lor! He hates gays.” Within the context of humour, this both reinforces the fact you are not ashamed of your position, and that your friend should be embarrassed of his.
That is all.
Our views are the views of the people around us.
One of my friends shared one of my posts and there were two comments against LGBTs. Moderate comments, but without logical footing. I could totally argue that. But I kept quiet, because I don’t want to start a fight on someone else’s wall. And my friend kept quiet, because he doesn’t want a fight.
But I think he is less likely now to publicly take a position for equal rights.
Society shifts, and this is how it shifts.
I read, daily, very well reasoned arguments for morals. Women’s rights. Rape culture. Stereotypes. Sometimes I share these posts. Generally, nobody even likes them, much less shares them. The middle simply doesn’t care. Even if you do click on it, you stop reading half-way. Your mind just shuts off because you don’t feel it is relevant.
We need activists, we do. But society changes when minds are changed, and minds are changed one by one, slowly.
Nobody listens to vegans.
But if all your friends are vegan, do you really want to be the only one eating bacon at the table?
So. Have a position. Make sure people know what it is. Make sure people know it is important to you. Don’t repeat it so often they stop listening.
Most importantly, be open-minded enough to accept your position might not be the correct one. Listen to opposing views.
It is neither you not the person opposite you who matters, it is everyone watching. Those are the minds being changed.
We change the world in the same way we grow the cult of a joke religion: slowly. One person at a time.
But the world does change.
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