Vermilion Interlute – Lent
The girl in the red coat sits in the ice cream parlour.
“So,” says Red, “I decided to take part in Lent.”
“Lent,” says Lorelei, “is not something you ‘take part’ in.”
“Participate? Anyways, I decided to give up killing people for Lent.”
“You’re not a Catholic.”
“Fine. I decided to give up not being a Catholic for Lent, and having done that –”
“That’s a paradox.”
“If you’re not a Catholic, you can’t give up anything for Lent, even if you want to give up not being a Catholic.”
“Alright,” Red pauses, getting annoyed at the amusement in Lorelei’s eyes, “I decided to give up killing people for forty days –”
“Like Catholics do for Lent.”
“I will stab you, Lori.”
“That’s not very Catholic of you.”
“I’m not a Catholic!”
“So you agree!”
“Obnoxious! What is it with you and Catholicism?”
Lorelei grins, “I’m not the one going around proclaiming that I’m a Catholic.”
“I didn’t proclaim I’m a Catholic! Besides, it’s not just Catholics who give up stuff for Lent.”
“Isn’t it? I don’t keep up with all the fads.”
Red waves away the conversational tangent; “Can I tell you my story now?”
“So I decided to not kill anyone for… a certain amount of time.”
Red stops, continues when the expected interruption doesn’t arrive, “So there was this very bad man. I tied him up, and I called the police. You know, like Batman. I thought it was –”
Lorelei laughs and laughs.
“What’s so funny?” Red snaps.
“You’re Batman now?”
“Can you just… stop?”
“Sorry. Go on,” Lorelei says, still smirking.
“Thank you. I tied up this really bad man, then I called the police. I thought it was all well and good, and, a few days later, the police knock on my door and I figured they want to thank me or something. Instead, I got arrested.”
A moment passes.
“Arrested,” Lorelei says, into the expectant silence.
A moment passes.
“I,” Red says, disdainfully, “note your lack of outrage.”
“I’m presuming it’s for kidnapping.”
A moment passes.
“How did you know?” Red asks, suspiciously.
“The cops arrived to find a guy tied up? That’s kidnapping.”
“Oh, and assault.”
“I may have stabbed him a few times.”
“Anyways, I left a note saying what a bad man he was.”
“But no actual… evidence?”
“I left a note.”
“You have no idea how the justice system works, do you?”
“You know that you’re supposed to feel sorry for me, right?”
“Sure. So you got arrested?”
“Yeah. Since they thought I was a minor they put me in this locked room instead of a cell. I waited a bit, then turned into a wolf and started barking, and some guy came in, got confused and let me out. There I was, on the street, with no clothes and without my hairpins. I was miserable!”
“After I stopped crying, I went back in, and they had my pins in this room full of boxes, along with the stuff from my room, which wasn’t much really, except for my car keys and another coat, so at least I was no longer naked.”
“That’s good, then.”
“Yes, but I figured they might miss my stuff, and there was this guard at the front of the room, and I didn’t want him to get into any trouble.”
“So what did you do?”
“I started a fire.”
“I started a fire. I figure they’ll figure my stuff got burnt.”
“You… burned down… their evidence room?”
“The entire station, it turned out,” she pauses, then observes reproachfully, “The police don’t seem to be very good at fighting fires.”
“Yup! That’s the story.”
“Oh! Oh! I saved two people from the fire! That was exciting!”
“Why are you looking so smug? It was a fire you started.”
“Well, I did save them!”
“And what about the bad man?”
“What about him?”
“How did you get him, in the end?”
“Get him? I got him. That’s how this started.”
“No, Loll. If there’s no evidence, they’ll let him go.”
“Even if there were any evidence, you just said that you burnt it all.”
“Jesus. This is why I never try anything new. He’s probably in a hospital.”
“How badly did you stab him?”
“Enough. He hit me! Great. Now I’ll have to find him all over again. Obnoxious.”
“What are you going to do when you find him?”
“Do? Kill him, of course.”
“Lent isn’t over.”
“Meh, fuck that. I’m not a Catholic.”
List by Tags [ canon shot ]
|| YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.|
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
694 words / 2210