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[ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
it’s way past dawn and i’m still awake; which is, generally, a Bad Thing. but lucky you, i’ve decided to announce, once again, to all the world, that i am still alive. ^ ^
precious and bluehazel have both mentioned that i ought to write an online journal, on the basis, i suppose, that since i write interesting i must live interesting, but i do not. i live a totally banal life to everyone else but me. i suppose my monthly declarations of my continued cognitive status ought to suffice.
the women in my life all think that i need, desperately, to Get a Life. “Go Out,” they say, repeatedly, and it seems to fulfil some inner maternity in them whenever i mention that, “oh, yes, i went out today”. half the time i expect a “i’m so proud of you,” reply, nevermind that i tend to be older than they are.
my male friends, on the other hand, are singularly impressed with my new-found career path, that of net.cash. the only exception being JF, mr-i-have-a-career-and-you’re-smart-shouldn’t-let-a-good-mind-go-to-waste-so-go-get-one-too. he doesn’t understand that the world is filled with thinkers and doers. great people are both. i’m just a dreamer.
i am, of course, singularly impressed with his particular career – audioload. now if i can only coerce him enough to let me use all those nifty cgi-toys his site is loaded with.
so i caught “run, lola, run”. german art flick. it’s really good. if only the germans will learn to speak english like everyone else. come to think of it, them damned chinese ought to speak english like everyone else too.
on the flip side; i have started writing again. it has been a few months since i finished Euphoria, and started but didn’t complete Odessa. i am a little bit into another story featuring my favourite character, Lucifer, but i doubt it’ll get finished, but i’m writing.
i’ve also been reworking the character stories for my upcoming mage game, and these are cool. hopefully the characters will live long enough to make a really good story, all in all. i’ll probably put up the stories onto a site; so all you wonderful wonderful people who read everything i write can get totally confused.
come to think of it, just cos you read everything i write doesn’t make you wonderful, what would make you wonderful is if you told me what you thought as you read what i write. feedback, dammit, feedback.
so go visit my site; i need hits, lots and lots of hits, click on the little links on top, sign up for them pay while you surf thangs. trust me on this. and go sign up for ebay and give me feedback. you want my undying gratitude, don’t you ? (not to imply that if you did so you’d get it, but it’s a step)
– the nocturne (yes, it’s the nocturne now, i’m back to divinity by virtue of being the virtual messiah ^ ^)
487 words / 1020
“I think you can learn a lot about history from our games. I mean, a trebuchet? How many people knew about a trebuchet before Age of Empires?”
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