[ BUY MY BOOKS! Witch-Girl Season One | The Bridge Across the Sky (Amazon) (Kobo) (Goodreads) ][ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
…more…
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The Human/Dancer Conundrum ♠ 15 Cap♑corn 2k9, Thor’s Day ♣ |  |
Are we…
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When the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind
And sometimes I get nervous
When I see an open door
Close your eyes
Clear your heart
Cut the cord
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye
Wish me well
You’ve gotta let me go
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we’re receiving
Let me know is your heart still beating?
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
You’ve gotta let me know
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human
Or are we dancer?
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Are we human
Or are we dancer?
&do("best","notice") {
if $call_came_down_line {
&up( $platform["surrender"], &bring(self), $kindness = 1; );
}};
if ((&rand eq "sometimes")&&(&see($door["open"])) { get $nervous; };
&close("eyes");
&clear(@♥);
&cut("cord");
sub refrain {
if ( $human ) else { $dancer };
$my_sign = "vital";
$my_hands = "cold";
while ( $my_knees = 1; ) {
&look("answer");
};
if ( $human ) else { $dancer };
};
&pay($my_respects,@grace_and_virtue);
&send($my_condolences,"good");
&give($my_regards,@soul_and_romance,"always_did_the_best_they_could");
&so_long("devotion","taught_me_everything_i_know");
&wave("goodbye");
&wish(self,"well");
&let(self,"gotta") { go &refrain; };
sub system_status {
if (($dreams["home"])&&($hour >= 18;)) { return "alright"; };
@inbox = 0;
PRINT $♥["beating"];
};
&refrain;
&let(self,"gotta") { PRINT $know; };
&refrain;
if ( $human ) else { $dancer };
if ( $human ) else { $dancer };
end;
I guess it bothers people that it’s not grammatically correct, but I think I’m allowed to do whatever I want.
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324 words / 1667
shop@noctalis
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I seek refuge in the Lord of the Dawn
From the evil of what He has created;
From the evil of the utterly dark night when it falls;
From the evil of malignant witchcraft;
And from the evil of the envious when he envies.
