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[ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
I believe in the death penalty but I do not believe in war.
I believe all the prophecies, and I almost believe they refer to this war. We are at war, you know, all of us, on one side or another. Now it remains to see if it’s A war or THE war.
Not much has been happening around here, IRL, I mean, no one is really affected, being literally half-a-world away.
I live on the net, of course, I’ve read dozens of first-hand accounts, and I feel close to the unfolding, as if I were there, looking on as a tourist. Those not directly affected are very angry, of course, and full of hate.
I think I was numb for a while. I label it “numb” because I have no other word for it, the inability to wrap my mind around the event; the implications, the concept, IT. Mayhaps I’m trying to think up a solution for the middle-east, or a solution for terrorism, something impossible, a puzzle that can’t be cracked.
I was out-of-sorts for the week-or-so preceeding the attack. When it happened I think a part of me expected it. I remember, on the day after, realising that what I was feeling was an intense variant of my feelings the entire week; a sort of undirected uncertainty, numb.
And then it happened and the first thing I said about it was in an email in reply to the great question “why?”. I said “For God, of course, and of a promise He made.”
I didn’t want to go to sleep, because I couldn’t be sure of the world I would wake up to. And I felt very alone.
But the world wasn’t worse; it was just as uncertain.
Then the net started acting up and I was pissed off. I was pissed off at bin Ladin, for fucking up the net, for throwing a monkey wrench into civilisation’s crawl to maturity, for believing in God instead of in man. Pissed off that the world could end before we made it out of the gutter.
A day-or-so ago I read about bin Ladin, his personal history. He has a mythical quality, a hero like those you only find in the old stories. I have the utmost respect for him, now. And I feel really sorry that he believes in what he believes in, because all he wants is to make the world a better place; sorry that he has to die, that man may live.
And now we’re at war. And we wait.
414 words / 2358
“Me against my brother, my brother and me against our cousins, and we and our cousins against the enemy.”
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