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[ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
In a fit of psychosis, I changed the default font of the entire site, all 850 pages of it.
Cable r0xx0rs. Did I ever mention that? Nothing beats being able to upload files faster than you can edit them.
I also hunted down and totally eradicated Verdana from the site. Get behind me, foul font!
For you poor sad fools still using Arial as your default, try Trebuchet MS or Tahoma.
Someone on #poetry asked “Local men don’t mind women having opinions, but are generally a little intimidated by them. True/False”, with which four guys replied True.
Talk about a fucking PC answer, I can’t stand the way all the Individualists think alike ((Brujah! Brujah!)).
I don’t know a single guy who’s intimidated by a woman simply because she has opinions. What’s the big deal with having opinions? Is deciding that blue SO does not go with black an opinion? Is saying we should attempt to lessen the digital divide in third world countries an opinion?
If it’s the former, most women have opinions, as do most men. If it’s the later, most women don’t have opinions, as most men don’t. At least, opinions thought out on their own after seeking the facts beyond a subjective editorial in magazine-of-your-choice.
Is “Amber talking about the upcoming merger.” an opinion?
I’m still looking for a Goddess on her knees.
If you’re a Goddess, please apply with a detailed resume of previous miracles, curings, resurrections and other Acts of Goddess.
239 words / 2786
“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognise each other, to learn to see the other and honour him for what he is.”
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