[ BUY MY BOOKS! Witch-Girl Season One | The Bridge Across the Sky (Amazon) (Kobo) (Goodreads) ][ Stories: Witch-Girl (Read from the bottom of the list), The Canon ] [ Poetry: All Poetry; ( ♥ ) ( ⚔ ) ]
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[ red_a02 ] Shuzhen – The first episode was a lot of fun, cos it had an interesting cocktail of sexual tension and smooth fight choreography. This episode is like the awkward aftermath...
27 Aquarius 13 18:13
[ vermilion_2 ] YAPX – I understand that most of your stories are dialogue-based and heavy on retorts and counter-retorts. This one felt unnecessarily circular. It starts with a cool premise: a killer/villain/vigilante uses Lent to swear off something that should be second nature to him (I suppose), and then talks about a story. The link between the two (giving up killing & the story) isn’t a 100% fit. Maybe instead of “let me tell you a story”, it could be “hey, you see I even passed a guy up for death today!” or equivalent. Something to drag Lorelei into the banter and the premise. // That’s my only complaint. I’m not a big fan of dialogue-based stories, but I can make a exception for this.
14 Aquarius 13 08:03
[ 130204 ] YAPX – Good pace, good characters, great dialogue. The thing I like best is a combination of the three: how you build up their pseudo-relationship through all that back-and-forth exchange. Somehow, you craft a unique, strange relationship: from any one point in the story, both of them are manipulative, victimised and hypocrites - though not all at once. // On word choices, I felt you could change the word “janitor” (“cleaner” or “uncle” would’ve given a different, but more acute local flavour to it). Mostly because, it’s connotes an added level of difference through: class. Whether or not you intended it, by portraying the “janitor” and “student” you bring out the fact that he’s stuck there socially in all sense of the word. It made the part where he says he reads books during weekends completely out-of-context and weird. // Also, there’s too much “sliding” in and out of the room. Not sure if that’s intentional repetition, or just a lack of other words. // I thought that the girl’s own background is pretty compelling. Even after everything, I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth. Because I’m all for unreliable narrators and characters, I can still find her well-thought out. But other readers might lose patience or wonder at her sudden change of heart at the final moment.
04 Aquarius 13 08:48
…more…
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2k7 ♠ 23 Ta♉rus 13, Thor’s Day ♣ |  |
– 25 Le♌ 2k7, Saturn’s Day [ nipples social issues ]
♥ This is My Church
– 29 Ge♊ini 2k7, Frigg’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ More than Meets the Eye
– 28 Ge♊ini 2k7, Thor’s Day [ entertainment movies television cartoons robots Transformers ]
♥ NO COMFORT HERE!
– 24 Ge♊ini 2k7, Sun Lord’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Soup Can Open Her Mouth
– 23 Ge♊ini 2k7, Saturn’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Losers of the World, Say Cheese!
– 23 Ge♊ini 2k7, Saturn’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ I concede this war.
– 09 Ge♊ini 2k7, Saturn’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Disassociative Behaviour
– 08 Ge♊ini 2k7, Frigg’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Equal Rites
– 08 Ge♊ini 2k7, Frigg’s Day [ social issues works ]
♥ Epic Tragedy IV
– 05 Ge♊ini 2k7, Tyr’s Day [ social issues eden epic tragedy ]
♥ An Apology to City Harvest Church
– 05 Ge♊ini 2k7, Tyr’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ The Rules of Engagement
– 04 Ge♊ini 2k7, Moon’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Social Issue #1: Smoking and the Weak-Willed People Who do It
– 04 Ge♊ini 2k7, Moon’s Day [ social issues ]
♥ Cry “havoc!” and let loose the dogs of war
– 03 Ge♊ini 2k7, Sun Lord’s Day [ social issues ]
shop@noctalis
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11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
