Granted, it is a B grade horror flick. I did not expect much, but Razorblade Smile is so bad that words cannot do the horror of it justice. However, I am going to try.

Vampire lovers engage in bizarre roleplaying game to squander away the decades. Oops, I just gave away the surprise ending, ah well, I guess you can just save the money and not go watch it then. What a pity, I am so sorry.

Whoever wrote this probably thought he was rather smart by throwing out every accepted vampire ‘fact’ and mixing in esoterica like the Illuminati and severely misinterpreted Tarot.

Oh! Vampires can walk in the day now… never occurred to the writer that if that were possible, they would not be engaged in playing at ruling the world but actually ruling it.

And I guess he also threw out eternal youth, because our starlet vampiric assassin lack both grace and style, not mention being a tad overweight.

So the inelegant vampire hangs out in a goth bar while working at killing people. Until the conspiracy that rules the world kidnaps her human boyfriend, forces her to rescue him in a parody of a shoot out, and forces her to choose between killing him or dying. Oh the angst! The angst!

Finally she confronts the master villain, and it turns out they are a couple with the odd fetish of trying to kill each other.

While vampire movies tend to be bad to begin with, Razorblade Smile has managed to bring it down to new depths. Go watch it if you really need something new to cringe about.