So Rollerball is like this extreme sport, see, played in a convoluted court with a ball, roller-skates and a motorcycle on each team.

Chris Klein (American Pie) takes the part of Jonathan Cross, the star-of-the-game protagonist; Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (Mystique in X-Men and X2) plays Aurora, the love interest with a Haunted Past; LL Cool J plays The Buddy; and Jean Reno takes the role of the Corporate Bigwig who owns the game.

The plot, based on a 1975 movie of the same name, goes a little like this – got game = got TeeVee = got cash. In order to spice up the ratings, the bigwigs throw in a little action, in the form of blood on the game-floor. Protagonist finds out the accidents aren’t really accidents and encounters a Great Moral Conundrum.

Okay, the plot is thinner than rice paper. There’s lots of action, though, and since guys, yaknow, like anything with wheels, we have nice cars and skateboards in addition to the bikes and the skates. Director John McTiernan is a veteran of the Action Movie, having done Die Hard and the original Predator.

The movie seems to be targeted at pubescent males; with lots of sudden scene changes, pulsating rockish music, bright lights and Romijn-Stamos going around topless without the least provocation. While there have been shows that seem like an hour-long music video, notably the original Crow, Rollerball runs like a long bad music video. Something that hasn’t really gone unnoticed, the release date was pushed back several times due to bad press. Possibly the failure lies in the fact that none of the rock’in is really good rock – you won’t see the soundtrack on the bestseller lists.

Similarly, the show’s attempt to Make a Statement about the multi-cultural nature of greed simply falls flat on its face, giving the impression that nobody really knows what the show is supposed to be. As an action movie the highbrow speeches are simply boring; as an “artsy” film it doesn’t make any sense. The show really has nothing going for it (though I like the sleek costumes).